First Law: You can't win, you can only break even.
Second Law: You can only break even at absolute zero (the lowest temperature conceivable, minus 273.14 degrees celsius, or zero kelvin)
Third Law: You can't get to absolute zero (and indeed personally I wouldn't want to anyway).
So all appears to be lost! But most of the physicists I know are surprisingly cheerful about it.
Flanders and Swann were pretty cheerful about it too. (They were an entertaining duo who worked together from the 1960s.) I defy you to keep a straight face as you listen to this. (The pictures seem rather bizzare, but you don't need to look at them!)
I haven't mentioned the zeroth law. Yes, there really is one! Although it was discovered last, it was considered to be the most important basis for the others.
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