The 'arrogance' of the New Atheists? What arrogance?

I have taken a little flak in the last week about attending a series of meetings in Oxford.  One of the accusations was along the lines of "how can these people have the arrogance to tell others what to think" followed by the almost inevitable "I'm offended that you seem not to have any respect for my beliefs".  There was more, but this conveys the flavour of the conversation.  The fact that my accuser had not attended any of the said meetings was apparently not relevant.

And yes, I did say 'conversation', even that that sounds quite one-sided.  I have found in recent years that it is best to hold my tongue because my few attempts to reply have made matters even worse.  (The accidental use of the expression 'bronze age myths' a few months ago did not go down too well!)  I didn't even think quickly enough to use the defence that we were not hearing about what to think, but more how to think.

I'm not sure whether my developing thoughts are the result of listening to inspiring speakers this week, and meeting some of them in person, or whether I am beginning to recite the new atheist mantra without realising it.  I am definitely getting fed up of my idealogical heroes being called arrogant though.

So . . . thinking out loud . . . what about:

1/ The clergy-man standing up in the pulpit every Sunday and preaching what to think?  Is that somehow better than what I have been hearing?  If this sermonising is not arrogance what is it?

2/  Prayer groups meet every day within a few minutes drive of my home.  I don't go round knocking on the doors of the participants and telling them how offended I am by their gatherings.

3/  Bible studies take place in our parish regularly.  And yet they only seem to study the 'nice' verses in the old and new testaments.  Isn't that telling each other what to think?  (Or teaching each other which bits not to read?) It is definitely not about how to think.

4/  Finally for now - bible reading notes have been a pet hate of mine for many years, even when I was still a Christian.  Whenever I have picked up a copy of 'Guidelines' or another of those platitudinous little booklets I find phrases that make my flesh crawl.  Picking one up now, and opening it at random I read "It is the duty of every Christian, like a lawyer in a court room, to be able to respond to the questions of non-believers coherently and persuasively".  I hope none of them ever have to represent me in court then!

So which side is the greater purveyor of arrogance?  OK, some of the New Atheists are more outspoken than others.  But this week I have heard no ranting from the pulpit (and certainly I have heard that in churches).  I have just enjoyed the reasonable and well presented opinions of reasonable women and men.