Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Amazing Hitchslap Index: part 1.

Here is the first instalment of 'The Amazing Hitchslap Index', summarising the content of the first 7 of the 66 'Hitchslaps' uploaded to Youtube by Loy Machedo as explained here.  For each Hitchslap, I summarise the content in the form of direct quotations and summaries, list co-stars and 'authorities' called upon.  This series should help you to find that one perfect Hitchslap to send to someone who you are debating.

Hitchslap 1 - starting the index today

Hitchslap 01: Christianity's argument destroyed in 1 min and 38 sec 1:38
Don't particularly welcome the idea of the annihilation of ourselves or of the entropic heat death of the universe.
Very little evidence to suggest that I will see you all again in some theme park.
I'm willing to accept conclusions that may be unwelcome to me.
180,000 years ago the population of humans dropped to between 30 and 40,000 - close to joining every other species that has gone extinct.
Arrogance to the assumption that all this extraordinary development was all about us.
Tremendous wastefulness, cruelty and caprice, tinkering and incompetence
Never mind -  the whole universe was designed with just you in mind.
I think we have free will.  Have to take refuge in philosophical irony - you don't have any choice BUT to have free will.
Christians say "of course you have free will  - the boss insists on it".
'Co-stars': None
Cited: None

Hitchslap 02: Iran and Israel  3:02
[Why do you consider Iran a threat to peace in the world, and not the Zionists.]
Long work on rights of Palestinians.  
Lot of people in the Muslim world are fed up of having the subject changed to Israel.  Children are having to keep shedding their blood because the regime keeps killing them for wanting to have a say in their own internal affairs  
3 women in court against one man. Rape and torture used as policies in prisons.
Do you want a regime like that to have nuclear weapons? You're welcome but you   should say that is what you want if you don't mind.
Appeal to the fair-mindedness and intelligence of the audience.  Did I say that?
Well that's progress of a kind.
'Co-stars': #qanda Panel
Cited: Edward Said

Hitchslap 03: Christianity is a bankrupt currency 2:32
All supernatural claims must be true, or none of them are (my own position), or only one of them is.  The least probable position of all – the one that you have decided to occupy.
Why are your miracles the true bill and the others are all copies?
All Joseph knew was who had not made her pregnant if we have to be crude about this.
Which is more likely?  Divine intervention or that a Jewish girl could tell a fib.
Of the two I don't think the latter is overwhelmingly improbable.
No religion has ever been founded except with the claim that its founder and prophet was born of a virgin.  I have the whole list in the front of my book . . .
So, nobody bothers to counterfeit bad currency?  Well it turns out that they do.
'Co-stars': None
Cited: David Hulme

Hitchslap 04: Immoral and offensive  3:41
Beliefs of the religious are very offensive to me.
If I don't accept a bogus story about a supposed human sacrifice that took place in Jerusalem in something like 33 AD . . . If I don't accept this I'm going to hell.
I don't go and burn down the nearest Baptist or Catholic church.  I'd be ashamed of myself if I did.
I don't call for people to form mobs to vindicate my hurt feelings.
Archangel Gabriel never said a word to the peasant Mohamed.  The event did not take place, any more than the Archangel Gabriel ever announced himself to the to the non-virgin Mary
How contemptible can you  possibly get?
Whatever you do, they will find a reason to take offence and when they have done that they think it is their axiomatic right to go straight to violence of the most criminal kind.
Do not dare to address me as though you are warning me when I comment on this.  I won't have it.  I won't be talked to in that tone of voice
Marx - Criticism of religion is the beginning of all criticism
Most important minority in the history of the world – those have never believed in god, who believe that ethical life is possible without religion.
Judaism is derived from ancient race myths, Christianity a plagiarism of that and Islam an even worse plagiarism of the two above.
All of these cults are equal and equivalent glimpses of the untrue.
Do we get no credit for failing to be violent?
'Co-stars': Unidentified interviewer and interviewees
Cited: Antigones; Sophocles; United Nations; Karl Marx; Samara Dome

Hitchslap 05: Genital mutilation or circumcision is despicable  2:10 
Religion compels ordinary moral people to do disgusting wicked unforgivable things.
[Opponent's son cried more at his first hair cut than at his circumcision]
You weren't doing it right then.
Can't find the compulsory mutilation of genitals of children a subject for humour or flippancy.
Religion makes morally normal people say and do disgusting and wicked things
Shame on you for saying what you just said.
At least Judaism does not go in for female genital mutilation
'Co-stars': Unknown
Cited: Maimonides

Hitchslap 06: The virgin birth is a lie  2:28
Hulme – Which is more likely? Natural order is suspended or a Jewish minx should tell a lie?

Babies are not born beautiful.  They are born ugly.  They need to be sawn a bit.
Secular criminality on a political level was not really possible until the late 18th century as until that time religious monopoly on violence and cruelty and torture was so intense.
'Co-stars': Rev Al Sharpton
Cited: David Hulme; Steven Weinburg

Hitchslap 07: It's called faith because it's not knowledge  2:57
Do yourself and your faith the honour of saying that it is faith.
A miracle is defined as the suspension of the natural order.
What is more likely? That the laws of nature have been suspended in your favour, or you have made a mistake?
Parthenogenesis is not completely unthinkable but does not prove his paternity is divine.
Wouldn't prove that any of his moral teachings are therefore correct.
Lazarus and daughter of Jairus both raised.  All the graves of Jerusalem opened. Resurrection was something of a banality at the time.
'Co-stars': Unidentified panel
Cited: David Hulme

Hitchslap Index posts: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Please add your comments, suggestions and corrections so that they can be included (with credit) in the final summary index that will be made up of these posts.


Carbonman said...

Superb collection. Hours of enjoyment. Favourite so far is Hitch's smashing dismissal of religious comfort, citing Fraulein Fritzl.


JAFHR said...

I'm sorry, this blog seems a little too frivolously ignorant of Hitchens' opposition which slapped him back on almost every occasion.

Plasma Engineer said...

@JAFHR Don't be sorry I can take it. Incidentally, your comment is frivolously lazy. The content at the address of your link is unhelpful and incoherent. So that helps us all to understand . . . in what way exactly?